As it has been almost a year since my initial pondering and entry on this forum perhaps it is time to reflect on the changes that have transpired and renew the pledge to myself to try something “NEW” by using a written forum for expression.

In that first post, I expressed how valuable it was to try new ideas, explore new venues and have new experiences.  Twelve months later, I can report that I have moved to another state, broken a toe, renewed friendships and the sad loss of others.  There has been ample time for self-introspection which ironically can be described as the “unpacking of boxes” just as one does during a household move.  What goes?  What can be donated?  Where will I place this object in the new home?

Moving is not a new experience for me.   In fact, the course of my adult life moves have occurred every two-three years.  Packing up my earthly belongings and saying goodbye is a part of the rhythm of my life which makes the idea of settling in one location frightening.  It has always been a time of anticipation and excitement – a renewal period. Optimism prevails as I have always viewed each move as a point of beginning where one may begin anew in a new city with experiences, friends and residence.  Learning a new city has always been invigorating and provided so many moments of wonder as I explore  the unique character of each city and learn about it’s history, culture and environment.  This particular move however, has been far more challenging both professionally and personally.   The process of unpacking all of the boxes took longer than any previous move and for the very first time,  I have been far more alienated than excited.  It feels different than previous moves and finding my “groove” and the usual exuberance normally experienced with a new city has remained elusive.  Trying to identify why this is so has been equally problematic as it has negatively impacted my being and my creativity.  It leaves me with a sense of angst and dread that I have not experienced since being a teenager.  Hence I am left to wonder, ponder and reflect on why.

Life is always about change … a new day, a new job, a new opportunity to learn something new about oneself or the world – or that is at least, my perception.  Some days you just “go with the flow” and on others you have to take the proverbial “bull by the horns” or “kick some ass.”   Even on the worst of days I try to find glimmers of hope and expectation.  It may be a momentary wonder at a cloud formation or the smell of warm cookies baking or that unexpected call from a friend out of the blue.   Today I have decided to take a different approach to my usual means of communicating with a pencil or brush and express myself through words.  Sometimes it is good to try something NEW.